Wednesday, February 12th, 2003
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4:26 pm - Wow ...
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I haven't updated in forever.
Meh. I'm not about to either.
Well, a small one I guess.
Tonight: Sworn Enemy and 18v. with Mike. should be fun.
yea, that's all.
THE CHEAT .... IS GROUNDED!
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[12 Thank you for the lies X Good-Bye]
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Saturday, January 25th, 2003
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4:19 am - hey, just let me know ...
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... I'll be here for whenever you need me.
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[Good-Bye]
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Thursday, January 23rd, 2003
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12:05 am - Love is so alive, so I've got to find a way to make it die ...
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Tuesday, January 14th, 2003
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3:08 pm - yea, this is somewhat accurate ... I guess ... Blah!
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3:03 pm - Dude, this show fucking rocked it yo!
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Sunday, January 12th, 2003
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12:25 pm - this is why ppl like jake bannon and I who get screwed over by heartless assholes are better ...
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Those nights we had and the trust we lost
The sleep that fled me and the heart I lost
It all reminds me just how callous
and heartless the true cowards are
And I write this for the loveless
And for the risks we take
I'll take my love to the grave
As tired and worn it is
I'll take my love to the grave
Bitter and Then Some
Death to cowards, traitors, and empty words
To those adorned with the touch of rose petals
And the blessed gift of forgetfulness
For these are your years and days to outshine
Push on and soar higher
This is your memory, your everything, and the in-between
Push on and soar higher
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[Good-Bye]
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12:02 am - woot woot.
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Saturday, January 11th, 2003
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9:31 am - I am so freakin' bored ... and tired.
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HAVE YOU EVER...
*Kissed someone: she kissed me /shrug. same thing I spose.
*Been in love: blah. sure.
*Been so drunk you blacked out: unfortunatly.
*Cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend: never had one. besides, I kill cheaters.
*Kept a secret from everyone: yep.
*Set a body part on fire: haha that shit is fun as hell man.
*Had an imaginary friend: yes. yes.
*Called or seen a psychic: haha.
*Ever cried at a chick flick: oh yes.
*Had a crush on a teacher: *shifty eyes* no ...
*Found a cartoon character attractive: dude, jessica rabbit.
*Ever at anytime owned a New Kids on the block tape: Haha. god. no.
*Watched Punky Brewster: oh yea.
*Prank called someone: Haha. The first time I did it they called back and I was scared shitless.
*Eaten a whole box of cookies and thought you were fat after: I used to and thought it a lot.
*Been on stage: uhm ... yes. in a sense.
*Gotten in a car accident: I rolled twice.
DO YOU...
*Wear eye shadow: I can't pull it off like Davey can.
*Have a dog: nope. not anymore at least. Tom's savior took him away from me.
*Want a tattoo, and where: lots. all over. chest, neck, back, lower back, sleeves, wrists, legs, you get the point.
*Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: HAHAHAHAHA. dude. that's great.
*Crush: yes. yes.
*Do you have a best friend: MIIIIKE!
*Who do you go to for advice: MIIIIKE ... MAAATT or ... my parents.
*Who knows all your secrets? I do.
*Who do you cry with: myself. although I am sure a lot of you have seen me cry anyhow. but shhh!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
*God/Devil: Yes. doesn't mean I like any of 'em.
*Yourself: Yes. for the most part.
*Your friends: Yes, Yes I do.
*Aliens: Haha. I'm not Wayman. :D
*Love: Yes. not for me though.
*Signs: sometimes.
*The Closet Monster: fuck yea man. woo. *runs and hides*
*One person for everyone?: Yep. I'm no mormen.
1. What's one thing you wish you could do but can't?
2. What time of the day do you like to take a shit? when do YOU like to take a shit?
3. What is your ideal marriage location? meh. maybe if I was I'd think about it.
4. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play? I wish I could sing hardcore. I can only sing metalcore. blah.
5. What's your favorite sexual position? fuck sex.
6. Favorite fabric? hmm ... whatever.
7. Something you love and hate? bah. girls.
8. What kind of bedding do you use? what?
9. What kind of soap do you use? uhm ... it's the off brand of herbal essence.
10. Do you tell your friends about your sex life? Maybe if I HAD A sex life. Hah.
11. What's the one language you want to learn? probly italian or spanish so I don't have to laughed at for being a non speaking spanish mexican. haha. COCONUTS OWN! RIGHT JOSH! Haha. My mexican/coconut bro. woo.
12. How do you eat an apple? I get it out of the fridge. wash it. bite it all around and then repeat.
13. What do you order at a bar? EDGE MOFUCKA!
14. Have you ever pierced your body parts? naw ... well, I stuck a needle in my ear once. only have way. my 'rents snapped at me. bah. bastards.
15. Do you have tattoos? July 12 yo. woo. thats the day.
16. Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted? Probly.
17. What's one of the "funnest" things you've ever done? Drove around in Jackies car with my AFI crew/choir. Listening to AFI and totally rocking out with the windows down. Woo. I nearly fucking cried 'cause of how great and fun it was.
18. Do you drive stick? I have.
19. What's one trait you hate in a person? hmm ... want me to list now or later?
20. What's the soonest that you've slept with someone (or hypothetically)? what? I'm not a whore asshole. I don't get girls. remember?
21. What kind of watch(es) do you wear? maybe if I had a watch. I'd tell you.
22. Most frivolous purchase? eh?
23. Do you consider yourself materialistic? at times. I don't need a damn thing but my music. that's all. and my computer. woo.
24. What do you cook the best? You name it I can do it.
26. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in? depends in my mooood.
27. Do you have anything monogrammed? maybe if I knew what that word meant.
28. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? Haha. I have before. Rocky Horror Picture Show. Well, I just had make up on.
29. What`s one car you will never buy? one that one drive and let me listen to music.
30. Have you ever done drugs? regretfully.
31. What kind of books do you like to read? I don't really read. I like to watch movies.
32. If you won the lottery, what would you do first? buy my parents a house.
33. Burial or cremation? burial dude.
34. How many online journals do you read regularly? uhm ... 3 daily but I read like 5 different ones every now and then.
35. What's one thing you're a sore loser at? I suck at everything so I can't really bitch.
36. If you don`t like a person, how do you show it? I test him at what he claims he/she is. Make 'em feel stupid. Or I just become an asshole and make fun of everything about them.
37. How many drinks before you're tipsy? shit it's been years and I don't care.
38. Favorite kind of porn? ASIAN! haha. miles! woo.
39. Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends? mmm. I do around close friends.
40. Do you cry in front of friends? yep.
41. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people? That I love everyone and get along and accept everyone but I really don't. that or that I get the girls when I really don't at all.
42. What's one thing you like to do alone? I am always alone. I like to rock out a lot though.
43. What's the worst thing you ever said to someone? I hate you with all my heart and soul and I think you should die and I meant it. Said that to my uncle.
44. Are you a giver or a taker? pfft. maybe if I was receiving anything then I would be. but I am a giver all the way.
45. What have you stolen before? Nothing ...
46. When's the right time to go to the bathroom in front of your significant other? shut up. god.
47. Favorite communication method? blah.
48. What is one thing you don't leave home without? my cds or my brass knuckles.
49. How often do you have sex? AGAIN WITH THE SEX?!
50. What's the most painful experience you've ever had? When I found out my dad wasn't such a great guy after all and when I realized ppl were assholes. Blah. Too man to think of.
current mood:  accomplished
current music: the last night alone.
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[Good-Bye]
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Thursday, January 9th, 2003
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1:22 am - yea I drew this in class on tuesday and wednesday ...
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Wednesday, January 8th, 2003
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7:46 pm - omfg ... I absolutely love this song ... Taking Back Sunday is the shit ...
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I’ll leave the lights down low,
So she knows
I mean business.
And maybe we could talk this over,
because I could be your best bet,
let alone your worst ex.
(And let alone your worst)
I want to hate you so bad
But I can't (But I can't )
Take this
Anymore than you can
So honestly,
How could you say those things
When you know they don't mean anything
And you know very well
That I can't keep my hands to myself
(To myself)
I want to hate you so bad
But I can't (But I can't)
Take this
Anymore than you can
This is all wrong
And it shows
Certain things I promised
Not to let you know
Not to let you know
Never let you know
Never let you know
You've got this silly way
Of keeping me on the edge of my seat
But you're only counting the clock against the train
And I'm miserable
You're just getting started
I'm miserable
And You're just getting started
You've got me right where you want me
(Never told me)
Never talk about this again
Because I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
Anyway yeah...
yea this is probly my fav. TBS song. well, at least at the moment. :D
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[6 Thank you for the lies X Good-Bye]
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Monday, January 6th, 2003
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11:49 pm - Woo. Oh boy.
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Yea, I wrote this about what had happened to someone lovely and I, read it and let me know what you think, Please? Thanks
This night's been oh so long how I need to find a way to cute this nauseating disease. Heartbreak has killed me yet again. She spoke the likes. I'll regret forever. Nothing keeps me asleep. It was nice to know you were with me on my side to help me to get through. A favor returned by you. How was he to go about this. Storytime never seemed to bring so much sorrow to her eyes. Hope he has a concience to realize that his charm is being scarred by his torn promises. I am forever in your hands. I will always be here. For crushed flowers never seemed to be this beautiful. I hope the wounds will heal with the water I feed you. I hope we'll meet someday on beautiful blue skies. This spoken word has hit you hard. Not hard enough to knock him down. Yours has hit me like a force feild sheild. So when all is said and done. We'll hopefully find the way that will lead us to this. Where we will find bliss with each one of each others company. Please, hear me out my precious. I won't give up. I'll wait. I'll wait for this to come to me. I know we'll make it through. It's going to be lovely.
current mood:  calm
current music: Jeremy Locarni - Take Me Walking With You
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[2 Thank you for the lies X Good-Bye]
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12:03 am - omg Jeremys song is oh so good. Jeremy Locarni kids.
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Please take me walking with you,
And our friends can come too,
I just hope you'll come through,
And take me walking with you
I want to stand right next to you
and smell your hair while i sing to you
Just don't tell me that we're through
I think i'm falling for you.
please fucking read these woo. they have been
how I am feeling about certain things lately. woo.
jeremy if you read this man you rock. haha. or russell
if you read this let jeremy know that.
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[Good-Bye]
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Sunday, January 5th, 2003
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5:10 am - Forrest Gump once said ...
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Shit Happens.
Well, Forrest old friend, You are damn fucking right about that sir.
Fuck.
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[Good-Bye]
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4:35 am - GIRLS DON'T KNOW!!!
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You think you're the only ones
who show emotion
Well I've been known to cry some too
A very sad rock-n-roll song
A happy ending gone oh so wrong
Even the very little things you do
You never let me show you just
how sad a boy can be
It's useless to explain to you
You'd probably laugh at me
Now I'm the only one who you're running from
What the hell am I to do?
Write a sad rock-n-roll song?
Tell you everything I did wrong?
I'll just forget the little things you do
You never let me show you just
how sad a boy can be
It's useless to explain to you
You'd probably laugh at me</u>
Now I want you to remember that summer
That summer when I drove a million miles
To stop you from dying
To stop you from crying
I held your hand as a part of you died
And believe it or not I cried
Because one year before a part of me died
You never let me show you just
how sad a boy can be
It's useless to explain to you
You'd probably laugh at me</u>
GIRLS DON'T KNOW!
current mood:  discontent
current music: Keep to the sake (Ha!)
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[Good-Bye]
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3:38 am - At least I know I'm a true person ...
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you showed me what love is, a fairy tale that fades with age. I'd open my wrists to mend this hearts hurt to a bitter end if I dare again. Your starlit silhouette on the side of a car light bright interstate I regret. For every kiss I regret, for every day I regret, for every apology that I regret, there's one thousand times the regret for giving you the time of day. I hope this ruins you 'cause I regret every ounce of you... and it seems the rain only brought more smiles and more happiness at that. Its safe to say I won't forget your face, but I can honestly say I won't forgive you
current mood: I have a fucking headache
current music: RrFaBl
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[2 Thank you for the lies X Good-Bye]
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Friday, January 3rd, 2003
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3:35 pm - guk is oh soo good.
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You’ll be accepting my apology
For taking things too seriously.
Sometimes I’m old enough to keep routines,
Sometimes I’m child enough to scream
For everything. I broke in two.
You’re barely missing me.
I’m missing you
And everything you do.
I really do.
I really do.
Sure I do.
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[3 Thank you for the lies X Good-Bye]
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3:25 pm
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I'm still waiting for you to get over this ...
current mood: discontent
current music: guk
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[Good-Bye]
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2:28 am - You have no idea how I feel right now ...
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I'm so upset right now .... I don't get it.
What's up with you? Why aren't you talking to me?
I'm so confused as to what we are anymore.
We need to talk. I miss you. Fuck. I'm calling you but
your cell phone is dead or disconnected or something.
I hope you read this right now or tonight at least. or real soon.
IM when you do and let me know what you think.
current mood: worried
current music: Brand New - Soco Amaretto Lime
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[Good-Bye]
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12:18 am - Fucking Christ ...
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To all the girls I've loved GOODBYE!!!
...Thank you for the lies !!!
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[Good-Bye]
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Tuesday, December 24th, 2002
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8:37 am - This will answer your questions about my last post kids ...
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atorturedxlight's journal
